Surprise! Johnny’s fat & lazy!

  • Johnny’s a “plus size”, so Ma Gov’t must hawk over his trans fat intake.
  • Ma Gov’t serves only revolting rot in Indocrination Middle’s cafeteria.  Johnny won’t eat it, and I don’t blame him.
  • Johnny can’t have PE/recess at school, because (pick one):
  1. Ma Gov’t has test standards to achieve so that she can simultaneously congratulate herself when it’s time for more funding, and belly button gaze (soon to be followed by more funding demands) when her robots (er, students) don’t measure up to any global excellence standards.
  2. There’s a possibility Johnny won’t win the barbaric game, and when Johnny loses, everyone loses.  Better to disallow play.
  3. Tenured Tina has Facebook work to do, and its [above 61 degrees | below 59 degrees | generally not California weather] outside.
  4. Class Bully Charles misbehaved, so the whole class will pay this week (and Facebook will be updated).  What better way to handle a bully than to keep him inside with no outlet and no consequences, Ma always says.
  • Johnny’s parents don’t know what’s best for him, so Ma Gov’t will raise him.
  • Since sweat shops existed in 1910, Johnny can’t have a job until he’s 26.
  • Ma Gov’t systematically sucking the hope and creativity out of Johnny bears no resemblance whatsoever to the sweat shops of 1910.  Ma knows best.
  • Johnny can’t ever work a real job.  We have potential Democratic voters… er, I mean illegal aliens for that (the language police drill Johnny to call them “undocumented workers,” and he must demonstrate appropriate remorse for his shameful discrimination against them).
  • Johnny is an American, so (propaganda alert) there are “certain jobs Johnny won’t do.”
  • Johnny’s not old enough to have kids of his own yet, but Ma Gov’t is already destroying his kids’ financial futures (with Johnny’s parents at the end of a sword) just the same.

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